I instinctively do tons of research when I want to buy something, and almost always want “the best” in each category. I try to remember her advice, since sometimes it’s better to have what you need than to pine for what you want.

Growing up kind of lower middle class, we did tend to buy some cheap crap, and when you have something that already works, you’re going to have to invent some justification to replace it with what you really wanted. It’s called good money after bad. When you have a space and you’re patient, you can put something that’s really worth your money there. It’s not called splurging, well, I mean, I guess there’s still a difference between splurging on something fantastic and outrageously priced because you’re in love with it, and spending more than you’d normally consider on a good piece of furniture because it’s smarter to do that than keep a rickety cheap piece of furniture you don’t like just because it’s not quite broken yet.

I think no matter how much money you make or don’t make, and marrying makes this more complicated, people tend to carry certain rigid lessons with them along in life. This is most likely the reasons people like Tiffany can’t make that click when she’s on vacation. We’ve already spent so much money… or… we have to remember not to get too carried away now… or … I wouldn’t spend this much money on a present for myself when I’m at home, so it doesn’t make any sense to permit myself here.

I haven’t really splurged too much in my house yet, I am still waiting for the pieces to come to me. I have had so much financial instability and moved a lot so I didn’t buy new things or put them on my list until recently (last 2-3 years). I just always try to think about things differently from my parents. They would say things like easy come, easy go, here today, gone tomorrow, etc. I like to think I deserve nice things, that will work for a long time, and feel comfortable for myself, and I don’t really want to resist that plan by filling niches with good enough for now. Without going crazy, I intend to live in this lifetime and not attempt to save up for the next one.

SCRIMP: Target T-shirts, esp. white ones that need to be tossed at the end of each summer, Banana Republic jeans over $300 brand-of-the-day, Crate and Barrel Eva Zeisel china, treasure hunting at Neiman Marcus Last Call clearances (by the way, that’s where most of the bags, shoes, Narciso, Etro, Tori Burch, etc. in my closet come from), retro vintage finds, thrift shopping for unique items. Rugs I am going to no doubt spill red wine on I get from IKEA. Red wine on a $99 rug is no big deal; Red Wine on a Madeline Winerib is a tragedy. Throw pillows I can change out whenever I need a new look – Victoria Hagan made some great ones for Target awhile back.

I guess the answer is this – seeking out high quality items at discounts, finding high style at Target, finding unique items with flair thrift shopping myself instead of spending a fortune at Pieces Atlanta (which if you have the $$ is an AMAZING store).

Mostly I’ve found that I tend to skimp on expensive experiences or vacation souvenirs and regret it. Later I think “Oh we really should have done that Segway tour, zipline, whatever” or “I really should have bought that bracelet when we went to [fill in the blank destination].” I’ve learned to pony up for the experiences but still cheap out on the other reminders of wonderful trips. There are at least three things I wished I’d bought at the Oregon coast. Not so sure why I froze up and got so frugal.

So 3 years after getting together, we’re still looking for the *right* coffee table that doesn’t make us want to cry when we look at it. And we’re still using an end table that we really like as a stopgap entertainment center, while we hunt for the one that is just right. But my bike is just right, and we lucked out and nabbed it on sale… same with some new wool pants for him earlier this summer. Sooner or later the right entertainment center will turn up, and we’ll fall upon it with a check in hand.

However, I imagine this is easier for us because we live in a tiny NYC apartment. Since we don’t have space for many new things, we upgrade what we have and don’t feel pressured to fill a larger space.

I skimp on accessories. I get bored easily, so accessories are easy to change as I get bored. Cheap pillows really aren’t much different than expensive ones. Target has some adorable home decor items.